


Elyon: Aegis Of Sadness

by Carliro



Category: W.I.T.C.H.
Genre: Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Lightsabers, Piss, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-28
Updated: 2015-09-28
Packaged: 2018-04-23 19:59:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4890175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carliro/pseuds/Carliro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elyon Brown is depressed. Why and how?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Elyon: Aegis Of Sadness

It was a very sad day in Meridian. Elyon, the platinum blonde princess of the blue dresses, tried to be a good monarch of ages, but her single-payer wealthcare system proved exceptionally inefficient, and Meridian acquired a debt of around €56. Now her people were over taxed, and an anarchist rebellion was killing everyone.

"I'm no better than my brother" she cried teardely with tears running down her face full of tears.

"Don't be too hard on yourself" comforted Caleb's clone sexily (she did a clone made of light in order to have a boyfriend sextoy).

He put his bright coloured hand on her nail polished one, but that didn't made her less sad. A depression invaded her puerile inoccence heart full of UV radiation that made her subjects flesh become cancerous in their poverty of taxes. Now, many were at the hospital to have surgery, but the anaesthetics were rendered inefficient due to the light, so now they suffered horrific pain as they were cut alive slowly. Then Elyon remembered she could make more anaesthetics, but they were stolen by Hay Lin because she needed to make an eye transplant because her eyelids got too squinty. So Elyon got sad again because her subjects suffered.

"I wish I was never born!" she exclaimed sadly with her bunodont molar teratomas in her virulent pericardium, constricted by the odious intent of the valves.

"That can be arranged" said a sinister devil voice that came from the roof.

"Oh, I wonder ho could it be" Elyon asked, her heart lightening with the light of curiousity. And cancer.

Then she looked. She couldn't believe it! It was......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Peter Cook!

"WTF aren't you Taranee's brother? How did you get here?" asked Elyon with an ardent passion of a desire to understand the surrounding universe.

"I was, but then the Oracle asked me for directions to the movies, so I ate him alive. Now I have his powers and I can kill you! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Then he regurgitated TRANAEE'S BONES!!!!!!!!

"You monster I will never forgive you!" Elyon said outrageously, then she did a power and sent a huge blast of light at him.

But Peter was faster and he casted a lightning spell (that's his element, he also has fire, water and ark powers now) and he electrocuted Elyon's ovaries! The blondie girl spasmed viciously, losing control of her bladder and urinating an oceanic cascade of piss. Only, because she lost control of her self, it wasn't piss, but LIGHT!

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH MY CORNEAS ARE BURNT BY THE PALAEOPAGAN VISAGE OF UNWITTING PROSELYTISM!!!!!!!!!!!" cried Peter like a Miocene hyaenodontid castrator, before his flesh melted off his bones because of the light.

Indeed, soon all of Meridian was consumed by the golden shower radiance, all life exterminated down to the smallest bacteria that could not support the searing rays. In a matter of seconds, all of the world was consumed by light, until only Elyon remained, floating in the yellow void of one's urethral sacrament.

Defated, she cried, took out a gun, and shot herself in the jaw. Only, she had terrible aim, so she mangled her lower jaw instead of killing herself. So she floated aimlessly for ten thousand years, left in the light of her own depressive emo suicidal thoughts.

Amen.


End file.
